Freedom from Stress, Anger and Overwhelm.
Due to the results of a recent survey I want to take a moment and comment on the top areas plaguing families and entrepreneurs.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could snap your fingers and have your biggest issues disappear? If only it were this easy. The good news is, with the right knowledge, effort and consistency you can experience freedom.
Here are some quick-wins for you as you journey on this path towards emotional and relational health.
If you’re stressed due to too much responsibility then simply determine which areas you can pull back on. Learn to say “no” (you can’t do it all) and clear your life from unnecessary responsibility. Feel this is impossible? More often than not, you put this pressure on yourself by demanding you keep up with it all. Learn to let things go and to be okay with it. If it’s truly important you can pick it up later.
Another way to rid stress from your life is to not allow yourself to “go there.” Make the decision to not allow yourself to get stressed. When you feel those emotions creeping up, push against them and intentionally stay level-headed. This takes time and practise but the more you are intentional about doing this the easier it becomes. Eventually, this becomes natural and it’ll cause you to enjoy life a lot more.
Stress doesn’t solve your issues, it just makes you feel unpleasant as you stare at them. If you can keep your mind clear, calm and “hold it together” you will find it much easier to take care of whatever is in front of you while maintaining your sanity (and joy) along the way.
Overwhelm (a close cousin to stress)
Overwhelm takes over when there is too much going on and you feel you cannot keep up the current pace. Whether you struggle to cope with daily responsibilities or are simply just trying to take on the world (because you’re an ambitions high-achiever) the solution is the same, you need to increase your emotional strength.
Think of training your emotions like weight training. The stronger your muscles are the more weight you can lift before reaching the point of fatigue. The stronger you are emotionally the more responsibility and troublesome situations you can carry without falling apart and losing your joy.
There is a wise saying that goes something like this… joy is your strength. If you can keep your joy, even in the midst of difficulties, that’s a true sign of emotional maturity and strength.
Many times frustration settles when you face persistent issues and don’t know how to overcome. No matter what you are facing, others have been in your shoes and have overcome. Put your learning ears on, find the answers, stop making excuses and do what they did so you can have the same positive results.
Everyone wants what someone else has but they aren’t willing to do what they did to get it. Don’t be like this. Find the answers, do the work, reap the results.
I previously did a series on Relationship Rules which laid out helpful guidelines on how to properly communicate during difficulty. When we are faced with anger (whether it’s our own or someone else’s) we blur the lines of what is acceptable and what’s not. We first need to understand where healthy communication lines start and where unhealthy communication lines end. Then, just like in sports, we need to play within the boundary lines.
Once you’re aware where these lines fall you’ll need to learn how to tactfully manage difficult people – including yourself. Tame your emotions, hold yourself back, rise to the occasion and become stronger and better.
In an effort to take the path of least resistance you may have let things go undone or unsaid. In the long run, this bites you in the butt leaving you with more pain than you anticipated and no idea how to bring about change. With an understanding of healthy communication lines, you’ll have the confidence and boldness to approach issues without destroying the relationship or threatening your personal peace and joy.
Approaching difficult situations swiftly is the fastest way to get on the other side of them and get on with enjoying life. You will have the best results if you can remain kind and gentle in your approach while speaking softly and in a non-threatening way. During a conflict state only the facts and do not jump to conclusions, make character accusations or speculations.
You can explain how a situation is affecting you but think creatively about how the other person can benefit. This will be key in gaining their sincere heartfelt agreement.
Insecurity and Self-Doubt
I know as well as anyone how debilitating insecurity can be. There are tools you can use to overcome and a beautiful life does lie on the other side. To get there you must know how to silence tormenting thoughts, how to choose the behaviours that will result in a beautiful future and how to hear the voice of God, leading you towards the “right” path.
What are you doing that you know you should stop? What do you watch that you know is garbage? Who are your toxic friends you need to separate yourself from? What do you think about or do that you know you should stop? This little “knowing” inside is God leading you towards a brighter future. Learning to hear this voice and listen will bring about huge rewards.
Tormenting thoughts grow the more you feed them. Rebelling against them, which will make you temporarily uncomfortable, will bring about lasting freedom. I want to show you how to do this.
The decisions you make today have an impact on the quality of your future. What you watch, listen to, read, think and talk about shapes your mind, attitude, perspective and emotions. Everything you do is either bringing you closer to your ideal life or farther from it. When you become intentional and make decisions that make a difference, you will see big payoffs.
A Beautiful Life
I’m in the process of creating a course on becoming emotionally and relationally stable. I strongly believe that these two areas are the foundation of a beautiful life.
Thank about it. If you ask anyone what the most important things are in life they will relate back to their emotional health (happiness, peace, fulfilment, contentment, satisfaction) and relationships (marriage, parenting, friends).
What good would it do you to have all the physical pleasures of this world but be a frustrated, emotional wreck, dissatisfied with life while your relationships are falling apart? Sadly this is the case for many. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against financial prosperity, or building an exciting business, just not at the expense of your emotional and relational health.